The Countdown

In exactly eight weeks from today I will be entering the MTC. My list of things to do before then seems to only be getting longer. Clothes shopping is proving to be a nightmare! It would appear that females my size are expected to wear only trendy, crazy clothing. Unfortunately the current trends are not the most missionary appropriate, nor the most modest. If only I'd been able to put on that ten pounds. My only hope is that I will be able to find enough to get me started out there, and that I will either gain weight making it easier to find clothing, or that the east coast will be more friendly towards professional fashions for small people. Other things are progressing along, each at their own rates. I only hope that I can get most things done before I leave for home in six weeks. Right now my biggest worry is figuring out what to do with all of the stuff I have here in Provo. I can take it all back home when I go, but unfortunately I am going to be couch hopping for my last three weeks here, and storing all my stuff in my car for that amount of time seems slightly risky. Just one more thing on the list of things to figure out and get settled before I leave. Not to worry! I am confidant that it will all work out! And seven weeks from now, the only thing I will have to worry about is being a missionary, preaching the gospel, and hoping that somehow somewhere I will be able to touch someone's life. For 18 months I don't have to think about school or work or what I'm doing with my life. Just focus on teaching the gospel. Isn't that wonderful!

Two Months

Well, I feel like time from here on out will probably be going very quickly. I opened my mission call two days ago, and already I only have 60 days until I leave. I feel like there is so much to do in that time! I will be going through the temple this Thursday provided that my interview with the stake president on Sunday goes well (It should since it's only been three weeks since the last one). My parents, sister and one close friend will hopefully all be with me. I am SO excited about the opportunity to go through. It is funny... you spend your whole like imagining the day you get to have that little piece of paper, and it's finally come. The beginning to the realization of dreams! Along with preparing for my first time through the temple, I need to focus on getting through the rest of the semester of school... very difficult to concentrate on. I also need to invest in a complete mission wardrobe. This will probably prove to be the most challenging thing in my limited amount of time. Then there are school deferments, loan deferments, bank accounts to manage and figuring out what to do with all my stuff for the next 18 months. All this in the next weeks. But as my mother keeps reminding me, I need to take one day at a time, focus less on the future, and enjoy every minute. So for now. TEMPLE ON THURSDAY!

The Results Are In

I have been called to serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I will be tending to the Lord's sheep in the area of Richmond Virginia. I report to the MTC on the 26th of May 2010!

Sorry to say, but no one won the guessing game!

Approaching the Finish Line

I have been informed that my call has been issued and should be mailed out on Tuesday, so for all those who have been postponing guessing, the time is drawing to a close. Only a few more days to make guesses. Just remember the rules, and have fun!

Thinking the INTJ way

At the beginning of fall semester a roommate of mine introduced me to a very interesting "personality test." I know some people are thinking that it sounds dumb, and as one friend said bogus. Well, think what you will. I tend to think the same thing about personality tests most of the time, but this one really intrigued me. I agreed to take the test after my roommate told me that she thought we might be strong in the same four letters.... not that we have the same personality ( that just makes it sound creepy) but that we have similar thought processes, motivations and desires. I did. We do. Similar, but not exactly the same. I'm a stronger introvert than she is, and we are on different levels in all of the other three categories as well, but we still view life generally in the same way.

So, still somewhat skeptical at first, I did some research about what INTJ's were supposed to be like. Research guided of course by my roommate who knows a lot about this personality test. I was surprised to find that the results were surprisingly accurate. Granted it wasn't perfect, not everything was spot on, and some stereotypes can be easily skewed by religious beliefs or other beliefs, but nonetheless I found myself laughing at what an accurate portrait of myself was painted as I read up more on my "personality type." I guess what I find interesting about it, is that for the first time ever that I can remember where I actually felt like someone understood the way I think. Trust me, you could ask most people that know me, and they would find me a mystery in many respects. Even my mom often finds my ways and methods baffling. I wonder if this is because we are supposed to be one of the rarest groups of people on the planet?

So, here are some things I've "found out" about myself in the last few months. Or more accurately, the things that have just made me laugh at how accurately they portray me.

• If I am going to do something, then I go ahead full steam and don't do it half way. If I can't do it right, I won't do it.
  
• Respect must be earned, not given freely. This goes for everyone, parents, teachers and leaders.
• Language is a horribly ineffective way of communicating things. Because of this, I'll often seem to beat around the bush or speak in complicated analogies to try to help you understand my point. You still almost never understand completely.
  
• I like to have things settled and decided on now. Waiting til morning, or to see what happens makes me distressed and panicked.
  
• Favorite question: "what are you thinking" I like to know what is on your mind and I don't like to have to guess.
  
• To me there is no such thing as not thinking. I can't understand that concept no matter how hard I try.
• I do not understand most social rituals. Small talk is a waste of time, so I'm not likely to engage in useless conversation. It's not that I don't like you, it's just that I have nothing to say.
• I like everything to make sense. People should behave logically. If you don't, I will still try to explain your behaviors logically. Yes, this can be problematic.
• Things should be done right and efficiently. If you aren't doing them that way, I will take over or leave.... preferably physically, but if that is impossible, a compete mental checkout is called for.
• I don't believe in prizes as motivation. I'll do something because I want to do it or believe in the cause, but for no other reasons. Gold stars, gift cards and money are not motivating factors, so stop trying to use them as motivators.
  

So, if anyone was interested in learning more about me, there you have it. A very small almost minuscule insight into my brain and how I "tick. " Hope you enjoy.

Waiting.... Patiently?

They say patience is a virtue.

I do not often possess this virtue. I am patient in deciding. I often think long and hard before making a decision. I weigh the consequences, estimate the results. Make sure I really want to do it, then jump. Once the decision is made, there is no reason to waste time looking back and second guessing myself. There is no reason to wait, no reason to hesitate, and no reason for something to take forever. Once a decision has been made, it should be implemented.

Done.

I also like to be in control of things. I've never really thought of myself as controlling, but perhaps I am some. I like to know that things are being done efficiently. I like to know that things are progressing, and that if I want to make them move faster I have control over that. An easier way of saying this would be to say that I strongly dislike to have to depend on other people to get something done.

So all this brings me to one thing! I'm ready for my mission papers to be in!!!!!! I'm ready to have my call, and know when I'm going and when I'm going. I've done my waiting, so I'm ready. lets get moving. Patience in this has ceased to be a virtue.

Step Back

The papers aren't in. Don't know when they are going to be. I guess I'll let you know if I ever hear anything more.

Looking Toward the Future

At the beginning of last winter semester when I was a brand new student here at BYU, Elder Holland gave what I might still to this day consider to be the best devotional I've heard in my time here. I again ran across a copy of the talk a few months back at the temple and it has been on my mind ever since. If you are interested in reading it, there is a link to the download here

For those who are time crunched and can't read at the moment ( I still highly recommend reading it some time) The talk is entitled Remembering Lot's wife, and discusses the reason for Christ's warning to remember Lot's wife. Elder Holland goes into detail about why exactly "looking back" was such a great sin that Lot's wife was turned to salt for it. It was more than the action of looking, but the desires of the mind and heart when she turned to look. That is a very brief synopsis, but I think it gives you enough information for this post. Again, good talk, read it. I love Elder Holland!

I feel like sometimes as members of the church we spend a lot of time bashing individuals in the Bible and Book of Mormon for their seemingly stupid mistakes without pausing to consider how similar we actually are to them. We bash the Israelites, Lamen and Lemuel, Lot's wife, Martin Harris and many others. We all want to be Nephi's. Fantastic goal, but most of us aren't there yet. We like to think we are, but most of us really aren't. Maybe all of you are Nephi-like. I'm not. Working on it, but I'm really not there yet. I would dare to guess though, that if an apostle of the Lord felt to speak on this subject "remember Lot's wife" then I'm not the only one that sturggles with it.

I feel I can sympathize some with Lot's wife, especially after rereading Elder Holland's talk. What was the greater principle violated when Lot's wife turned to see Sodom and Gomorrah one last time. It was the longing, the wish that things didn't have to change. The fear of the unknown future. In short, a lack of faith. Yes, the people of Sodom and Gomorrah were terribly wicked, but she probably still had friends and people she cared about there. Things were familiar... comforting. All of a sudden she was giving up everything she had ever known, and had little to no idea what was before her. Lamen and Lemuel... the Isrealites, they faced the same challenge. Leaving behind everyone they cared about to face the unknown. How easy would that really be?

We don't often face that exact challenge today. But how often do we act similarly? How often when we don't completely understand what is going on, turn to God and say things like
"I don't understand"
"What is wrong with my plan?"
"I need answers"

Do we ever look at something that we had and wonder why it couldn't stay the same? It seemed good enough, and I'm not sure exactly where things are going now, so why can't we just go back to where it's comfortable. I think these are all normal feelings, normal thoughts. The truth is that the unknown scares us. Scares most of us at least a little. It takes monumental faith to make the jump into the darkness without looking back even once. Most of us will jump, but not without saying goodbye, not without the few last backward glances. It only took one glance to turn Lot's wife into salt though.

The Savior's counsel to remember Lot's wife was wisely given. To remember and learn from her story is possibly one of the harder tasks for some of us to perfect. I know it's a hard one for me. It is difficult to let go and let ourselves be clay in the master's hands with no hang up's. Someday I will be a Nephi (likely after this life has passed) but today I focus my efforts on something simpler- learning from Lot's wife. Thank you Elder Holland!

New Map!!!!

UPDATE

Post your guesses on here, and I'll add them to the map so you all can see everyone's guesses! Remember the rules!

1. Guesses have to be actual possibilities. No guessing in places you know there are no missions. Even if a new mission opens in the next few weeks, they probably won't send sisters right away.
2. If you decide to guess foreign, you must also guess a stateside or North America mission. You don't have to guess two missions if you only send in a stateside guess.

PS. If you missed the map, it's on the top of the page!

Seems the Only Thing I Post About

All of a sudden the last few weeks it seems like the only thing I have to really post about is my mission paper progress. I've got some other thoughts rolling around in my head, but none of them have reached a maturity to make it on to this page yet.

So... instead I am just going to give an update on mission stuff again. This will be the last update for a few weeks. I had my interview with my stake president today. I think it all went well, and now my papers are officially done. I just have to wait for them to get sent to salt lake, reviewed and my call issued. I was told that I should expect a call sometime next week (week of the 15th) or the next. So hopefully I'll have my call by the 26th of this month. It would be great to get it next week because I'd really like to go through the temple when my parents are here at the end of the month, but things will work out however they are supposed to.

So, I guess it's time for people to start guessing. I'm not completely sure how I'm going to do this part yet. I know I'm going to get a wall map to put people's guesses on, but I know that most people reading my blog are a little too far away to see all the other guesses. I could do a facebook group if people would like that, so I guess let me know what you all think, and you can start guessing now.

Here are the rules for guessing
1. Guesses have to be actual possibilities. No guessing in places you know there are no missions. Even if a new mission opens in the next few weeks, they probably won't send sisters right away.
2. If you decide to guess foreign, you must also guess a stateside or North America mission. You don't have to guess two missions if you only send in a stateside guess.

Have fun guessing!

Finally Getting there.

I finally have my stake president interview tomorrow right after church. It seems like it's taken me forever to get here. I thought I'd have my papers in a month ago, then three weeks ago, then a week ago... then I finally stopped putting a date to it and decided I'd just let them make it in when I got it all done, and I wasn't going to worry about it anymore. Now they are almost done. I'm a little nervous, but excited too. Almost time for people to start guessing places I guess. I've been debating.... my roommate wants me to start one of those facebook groups, but I'm not so sure if I want to... that would mean everyone knowing. I'm not really an everyone in the world involved in my life type person. But I will post here when I'm ready to start taking guesses.